


Under My Skin

by princessgrey



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Dealer Samson, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Past Dorian/Bull, Please heed warnings in chapter notes, Samson is a piece of shit, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, The hanged man is a strip club, cullrian - Freeform, is this how tags work, slowish burn, smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 21:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8418259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessgrey/pseuds/princessgrey
Summary: Cullen struggles with lyrium addiction. Dorian runs away from his problems. They help each other. Also Bull is there. This is also a highly fictionalized stripper au.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I promise it will get more exciting. More chapters soon to come!

“Alright, so, your opinion on pets?” asked Dorian, sitting cross-legged on the sofa across from Cullen. The Iron Bull sat back on the sofa, arms crossed, eyes studying Cullen intently.

“I don't have any, but I like them,” said Cullen.

Dorian wrote something down on his clipboard. “Good, that was correct. Now, do you take any illegal substances?”

“Um...no.” Not technically a lie, Cullen told himself. Lyrium wasn't illegal, not really, although if his potential roommates found out about his problem he doubted that fact would matter.

“Good to know!” Dorian set down his clipboard. “What do you think, Bull?”

“Seems fine to me. You’re the picky one.”

“Lovely. Then it seems we have a winner!” said Dorian. “When can you move in?”

“I just need a day or two to get everything packed up.”

Dorian nodded, tearing a piece of paper off of his notes and writing down his number. “Call us when you’re ready, we can help you move in.” He handed the paper to Cullen.

“Got it. Thanks,” said Cullen.

He didn’t have much to pack up, so aside from keeping his stash of lyrium well hidden, the move was painless. He set up his bed in the corner of the room, hung his clothes in the closet, and hid the lyrium in a shoe box tucked away on the closet’s top shelf.

Bull poked his head in the door. “Hey, we’re ordering Chinese, what do you want?”

“I’m fine with anything.”

“Suit yourself.” Bull ducked back out of the room, and Cullen flopped down on the bed with a sigh, closing his eyes. He rolled onto his side and curled up, trying to ignore the ever-present want for lyrium. With his eyes closed, he drifted into a familiarly fitful kind of half-sleep.

A knock on his bedroom door woke him. “Cullen, the food is here!” came Dorian’s voice through the door. “Bull is going to eat yours if you don't hurry.”

“Coming.” Cullen opened the door, following Dorian down the hall.

“So, what is it that you do, anyway?” “I’m a barista,” said Cullen. “I used to be a police officer, but…” he trailed off. “But it didn’t work out.”

Dorian waved his hand, sitting down in the living room and pouring himself a glass of wine. “No need to explain if you don't want to.”

“Thanks.”

“This one’s yours,” said Bull, handing him a takeout container of beef chow mein with chopsticks.

“Again, thanks,” said Cullen, eating quietly.

Dorian drained his glass of wine, setting down his food. “Well, I’m off to work. Bull, don't eat my leftovers.”

“No promises,” Bull called after him as he grabbed his coat and left.

“Where does Dorian work, so late at night?” asked Cullen. “The Hanged Man. Male strip club downtown, it used to just be a bar, till some dwarf bought it and made it way more awesome. He tried calling it the Hung Man for a while, but it just didn't have the same ring to it.”

“Oh. So Dorian is...a bartender?”

“Nah, he’s a stripper.”

“...oh.”

Bull laughed, a deep, booming kind of sound. “That’s how we met, actually. Me and the boys were out, saw him dancing. Got a round and next thing I know I'm taking him home.”

“And now you live together?”

Bull shrugged. “Just cause we fucked doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

Cullen busied himself with eating, not sure how to respond. “So...you’re just friends?”

Bull raised an eyebrow. “Why, you interested?”

“No! Not at all,” said Cullen quickly. “I mean, no offense.”

“Cause he's good, not gonna lie. But you don't seem like the kinda dude that’s into dudes,” said Bull.

“I uh…”

“No judgment.” Bull suddenly slammed his massive fist on the table, making Cullen nearly fall off his chair. “But if you fuck him and run, I'll find you.”

Cullen shook his head. “I wasn't even thinking of that.”

Bull sat back in his chair, grinning. “So no worries!” He scooped the last of his food into his mouth. “You might need to loosen up a little. But I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen loses his job. Dorian has an idea.

“There you go, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

Cullen glanced at the clock--only half an hour left in his shift. He got started on the next order, falling into the easy rhythm he’d gotten used to. Rude customers and minimal pay aside, he liked working at the cafe. Making coffee required just enough concentration to stop his mind from wandering, and the quiet conversation along with the sweet smells in the air made for a pleasant environment. And free coffee was always a nice plus.

Unfortunately, the caffeine did nothing to stop the sinking feeling when his boss pulled him aside to “discuss his employment situation.”

“I can still pay this month’s rent,” he told Dorian over dinner that night. “I just thought you should know.”

“Mhm.” Dorian offered the bottle of wine he’d been drinking from. Cullen shook his head. “Do you...want to talk about it?”

“No. I just need a new job…” Cullen sighed. Working at the cafe had barely paid the bills as it was, and he couldn’t afford any gap between jobs. The extra change he should have saved had been scraped together time and time again to buy lyrium.

Dorian paused, regarding Cullen thoughtfully. “Come work with me,” he said.

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “At the strip club?”

“Why not? You’re easy on the eyes,” said Dorian, drinking from the bottle. “You’d get plenty of tips. More than you were making selling coffee, I’ll bet.”

“I don't think I could do that.”

“Why, because you’re straight? Or do you think it’s beneath you?”

“No, I just…”

“What, you can’t dance?”

“Well no, I can’t dance. But it’s not that, it’s just...stripping? I don't think I have the…the confidence. Or the body.” Cullen’s mind was reeling at the thought of it. Being naked in front of a crowd of strangers was quite literally the stuff of his nightmares, and with lyrium suppressing his appetite, he’d lost a lot of muscle since his police days.

“Somehow I doubt that. Stand up and take off your shirt, let’s have a look at you. I’m sure you’re a fine specimen of manhood,” said Dorian, a flirtatious edge in his voice.

“I’m sure you’ll be disappointed when you see me with my shirt off,” said Cullen.

“Alright then, disappoint me.”

Cullen got up from his chair, but hesitated to take his shirt off. There had been a time when he’d been comfortable with his body. Sure, he’d never posed for calendars, but he could go swimming without feeling self-conscious. Since then, however, his body had changed. He was thinner, less muscular, and his skin hadn’t seen the sun in far too long.

“Go on,” Dorian prompted him.

He sighed and stripped off his shirt. “Well?”

“Well…” Dorian stood, looking him up and down. “It wouldn't hurt to get a little meat on your bones, I won’t lie. But your handsome face more than makes up for it.”

“Uh...thanks?”

“So, what do you think?”

“I still can’t dance, no matter how handsome you say I am,” Cullen reminded him.

“I’ll teach you. It’s not hard.” Dorian shrugged off his jacket, grabbing a remote off of the coffee table and turning on the radio. He offered his hand to Cullen, who hesitantly took it. Dorian pulled him closer. “Like this.” He put his hands on Cullen’s hips, guiding him along with the music.

Cullen tried to keep up, but Dorian was clearly much better at dancing than he was. He stepped back as the song came to an end.

“You’ll get the hang of it. I’m sure Varric would be happy to have you.”

“Who’s Varric?”

“The club owner. Why don't you come with me tonight, I’ll introduce you and show you around. Bull will be there too, he’s a regular.” Dorian picked up his jacket off the floor.

“What does Bull do for a living, anyway?” asked Cullen.

“He’s a boxer. Regular jobs aren’t barbaric enough for him, I suppose. Although I’ve heard he has a hard time finding people willing to fight him. Qunari do have an unfair advantage in hand to hand, of course. And it’s time for me to go,” said Dorian, glancing at his watch. “Are you coming?”

Cullen hesitated. “Sure. Why not?”

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming,” said Dorian dryly. Cullen couldn’t help but chuckle. “Let’s go. I usually walk, it’s not that far.”

The club was loud and crowded, and Cullen felt more out of place by the minute. He followed Dorian behind a curtain to the dressing area, where a few of the dancers were getting ready.

An elf with blond hair looked Cullen up and down, smirking. “Who might you be?” he asked in a thick Antivan accent. “If that’s your boyfriend, Dorian, what are you bringing him here for? You’re asking for trouble.” He winked at Cullen.

“Zevran, this is Cullen. He’s my roommate, but if you want to call him my boyfriend, I wouldn't mind,” said Dorian with a grin.

Cullen blushed.

“Better not let him near me then. I haven’t seen anything as sweet as him in a while,” Zevran purred.

Dorian chuckled. “Anyway, Cullen, this is where we do makeup, costumes, et cetera.”

“Costumes? I thought you didn’t wear clothes.”

Dorian laughed. “You really are sweet. I bet you sang in your Chantry choir.”

“Well...yeah.” Cullen’s eyes traveled over the vast array of makeup laid out on the counter. “And you wear makeup?”

“Well I certainly don't naturally have kohl around my eyes,” said Dorian. “Right…” “Let me get changed, you can wait here. If a short man with lots of chest hair talks to you tell him you're with me, that’s Varric.” Dorian went off to the rack of costumes, leaving Cullen standing awkwardly in the corner of the dressing room.

Dorian came back dripping with gold jewelry, a thin piece of fabric covering his crotch and a sheer scarf draped around his arms. “See anything you like?” He laughed before Cullen could respond. “No, decidedly not.”

He leaned over to fix his makeup in the mirror. “I'm going on stage in the next five minutes. Do you want to watch? You can wait here if you prefer.”

“I guess I should watch, right? That’s why I’m here,” said Cullen, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Dorian smiled. “You can head out and find a table. Bull might already be here.”

Cullen left the dressing room and spotted Bull on the far side of the room. He waved, walking over and sitting down at his table.

“Hey, Cullen. Sorry about your job,” said Bull. “Want a beer?”

“No thanks, you don't have to.”

Bull bought two beers anyway, handing one to him. He nodded in thanks. “So,” said Bull, “Dorian bring you here to cheer you up?”

“Actually, he brought me here to find work.”

“You? Stripping?” Bull shrugged. “Why not? You’re pretty.”

“That’s what Dorian said. Something like that, anyway,” said Cullen, drinking.

“Doesn’t offend your Andrastian sensibilities, does it? Worried about scuffing up your purity or whatever?”

“I um...” A little bit. “No.”

“If you say so.” Bull gestured with his beer toward the stage. “Dorian’s good, ain’t he?”

Dorian was moving in ways Cullen didn’t even think the human body could. The man was impossibly flexible, and he made it all look easy. And Cullen couldn’t help but notice how appealing he was in that outfit, dark skin rippling over a lean, but well toned and muscular frame.

After his dance, Dorian made his way to the table. “How about a free lap dance for instructional purposes?” he asked.

“One second.” Cullen downed the rest of his beer. “Okay.”

Dorian leaned in close, whispering in Cullen’s ear. “Relax.” He took a few steps back, rolling his hips seductively, then smoothly slid to the ground and knelt in front of Cullen’s chair. He arched his back, flexing his shoulders and displaying his chest. Standing up, he placed his hands on Cullen’s knees, gently pushing them apart and fitting himself in between, never missing the rhythm of the music. He turned around and bent over, displaying his ass as he slowly came back up and faced Cullen, straddling him on the chair. He continued to move his hips to the music, coming close to grinding against him, but not quite touching.

Cullen was starting to see what Bull meant when he said Dorian was “good.”

“Are you paying attention?”

“What?”

Dorian laughed. “You’ll need a stage name. What was your rank as a police officer?”

“Commander,” said Cullen.

“Commander Cullen. I like it.” The song ended and Dorian stepped back. “Bull’s leaving soon, you can head home with him.” He winked and walked away.

Bull drained his glass. “Ready to go?”

“Uh...yeah.” Cullen shook his head to clear it. Bull glanced down, raising an eyebrow. “You wanna take care of that first?”

Cullen blushed violently, crossing his legs. “No! I mean…"

Bull laughed. “Yeah, he’s good at that. Come on.” They left the club and headed for the apartment. “So, do you have any idea what you’re doing or you just gonna copy Dorian?”

“I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Follow Dorian. He's been doing this since college I think. He knows his stuff.”

“I can tell.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way, aside from Bull whistling a tune. “I think I’ll turn in early,” he said once they were inside. “‘Night.”

“Goodnight.”

Cullen went to his room, digging out the shoebox that held his lyrium. He was almost out; if he wanted to be able to buy more he had no choice but to take Dorian up on his offer. The vial he had left was a little less than half full. He drained it, the cool metallic taste flooding his mouth, then crawled into bed, hoping for a decent night’s sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are more than welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little sexy, and Dorian teaches Cullen how to dance.

Cullen had always been an early riser, even before nightmares had started to plague his sleep. He woke up with the sun, sometimes before it. It was somewhere around five in the morning when he got up and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water only to find that the kitchen was occupied by Dorian, arms and legs wrapped around a stranger who had him pinned up against the refrigerator.

Cullen’s face immediately flushed bright red. “Sorry!” he squeaked, fleeing back to his bedroom.

Dorian laughed. “Perhaps we should take this to the bedroom,” he said, pulling the other man down the hall and into his room.

Cullen closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, to no avail. The wall between his and Dorian’s room was thin, and the noises coming from the other side were distracting, to say the least.

“Fasta vass, you know how to use that tongue,” Dorian groaned. “Fuck…” There was the sound of a drawer being opened, and the bed creaking. Dorian moaned loudly, followed by what had to be the headboard hitting the wall. “Yes…”

The man he was with let out a low groan. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he said, voice deep and husky.

Cullen buried his head in his pillow, trying to muffle the sound. He didn’t know what was worse, the feeling he was intruding on his roommate’s privacy or the fact that he’d seen Dorian naked and now he couldn’t help picturing him laid out on the bed, moaning in pleasure, that perfect body writhing as his slender hands gripped the sheets.

“Stop it,” Cullen whispered aloud to himself. No matter what Dorian did for a living, Cullen was sure he wouldn’t want his roommate thinking of him like….that. Although, he didn’t seem to mind when Bull watched him at the club, or when he’d danced for Cullen the previous night, grinding and gyrating like that…

There was a knock on the door. “Cullen, you decent?” asked Bull.

Cullen quickly placed a pillow on his lap. “Yeah, come in,” he said.

Bull opened the door. “I’m going to get coffee, want to come?”

“Um, no, not right now, sorry, I have...stuff.” Cullen winced internally at the words coming out of his own mouth.

Bull raised an eyebrow. “Alright. Do your stuff.”

He closed the door and left. Cullen looked down at the pillow he’d used to cover himself. Right. Subtle. He sighed, putting the pillow back where it belonged. A particularly loud moan came from Dorian’s room, and Cullen got up to lock the door before sitting back on his bed. He bit his lip, reaching into his underwear and wrapping a hand around his stiff cock, stroking slowly at first before picking up speed. He hadn’t done this in a while; his sex drive had suffered as a side effect of the lyrium, but now the arousal he felt outweighed the shame at listening in on Dorian and his partner.

The headboard banged against the wall again as Dorian swore in Tevene. An audible groan slipped out of Cullen, and he immediately covered his mouth with his free hand, hoping Dorian hadn’t heard.

“Harder, oh yes!” shouted Dorian, a playful tone in his voice. He had definitely heard.

Cullen closed his eyes. He came quietly with a muffled moan, breathing heavily as he sank back against the headboard. He heard Dorian cry out loudly on the other side of the wall, and the sounds stopped shortly after.

Cullen stood up, pulling off his soiled boxers and tossing them in the laundry bin. Then he went to go make himself some tea.

Dorian walked out a few minutes later, escorting the stranger out the door and joining Cullen in the kitchen. “Morning,” he said with a grin. “The noise wasn’t too distracting, was it? I apologize.”

Cullen nearly spilled his tea. “Um, no, it’s fine.”

“I’m making breakfast, would you like some?” Dorian went to the fridge and retrieved several eggs and a dish of butter.

“No thanks,” said Cullen, sipping his tea.

“I’ll make you some anyway. You don't eat enough.” Dorian cracked the eggs into a bowl and scrambled them with a fork. “Are you busy today?”

“No, why?”

“I was thinking I’d take you into the club when no one’s there, get you some practice on the stage so you can get comfortable with it.” Dorian melted the butter in a pan, pouring in the eggs once it started to foam. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem like the kind of person who gets stage fright when you’re not prepared.”

Cullen chuckled. “You’re not wrong.”

“Lovely! After breakfast, we’ll go.”

It turned out that “after breakfast” meant “after Dorian’s two hour morning routine.” First there was a shower, followed by a lot of blow drying and fluffing and spraying, then the makeup, which Cullen was sure involved some kind of witchcraft. Then came twenty minutes of picking out an outfit. He had to admit, though, Dorian had an eye for style.

When they got to the club, it was mostly empty. “The place is open 24 hours,” said Dorian, “But no one comes in at this time of day, so you should be able to practice without any interruptions. I’ve got a simple routine I can teach you.”

“All right.”

“Come on. I think we have a spare outfit that would be perfect for you.” Dorian led him backstage to the costume rack, picking out an army outfit. “It’s got velcro up the sides,” he explained when Cullen looked confused. “Put it on, you’ll need to practice ripping off the pants. It’s harder than it looks.”

For a second, Cullen hesitated to change in front of Dorian, even though he knew it was absurd. Dorian had already seen him shirtless, and he was going to be ripping his clothes off in front of strangers anyway. Still, it was hard to let go of the uncomfortable feeling. He stripped off his shirt and pants, changing into the outfit Dorian had given him.

Dorian looked him up and down approvingly. “Uniformed is a good look for you. I’m sure you really had to fend off the women when you were a police officer.” He went out onto the stage, followed by Cullen. “All right, I’ll show you the moves first, then you copy.”

“All right.” Cullen stood off to the side, watching carefully as Dorian showed him the first few moves. They seemed easy enough, although he felt he lacked the natural sex appeal Dorian possessed, and he felt rather silly imitating him.

“Not bad,” Dorian encouraged. “Now roll your hips forward like this.” He demonstrated, counting out the rhythm. “One, two, three, and unbutton the shirt while you do that…” he unbuttoned his own shirt, slowly sliding it off. “One shoulder, then the other. Yours has snaps, so it’ll be easier. You could also just rip it open if you want.” He tossed the shirt aside. “Then flex and turn around, show off all the angles. Then the pants, ready?” He made a quick sweeping motion, indicating ripping off the pants. “You have to get some good momentum, put some strength behind it.”

Cullen tried it himself. The pants came off smoothly until just below the knee, where he realized it was indeed harder than it looked.

Dorian laughed. “Like I said, momentum.”

“This isn’t like how it looks in the movies.”

Dorian laughed again, and Cullen blushed. “Well, since our crowd is mostly men, we do it a little differently than most male strip clubs, which cater to women. Know your audience and all that.”

“I see.” The thought hadn’t occurred to him.

Dorian smiled. “Try it again, you’ll get it this time.”

After showing Cullen the rest of the routine and practicing it a few times, Dorian pulled up a chair. “Ready to do it to the music?”

“I think so,” said Cullen.

Dorian sat down to watch. “And if you forget what you’re doing just improvise. Show off what you’ve got. I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen strips onstage for the first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Still trying to recaptyre my creativity

Cullen took a deep breath, checking himself over in the mirror. One rebellious curl of hair refused to stay out of his face, and he tried again to smooth it back, to no avail. The makeup Dorian had applied to his face helped to mask the perpetual darkness under his eyes and the lack of color in his skin, but despite his considerable skill, there was only so much makeup could do. It did nothing for the gauntness of his cheeks or the lines carved into his brow.

“Stop fretting. You look delicious,” said Dorian over his shoulder. “Just like we practiced, all right? Pretend the audience isn’t even there. Except when it’s time to collect your tips.” He pulled a dollar out of his pocket and tucked it into the waistband of Cullen’s pants, smirking. “There, for good luck. You’ll do wonderfully, I’m sure.”

“Thanks…” Cullen cleared his throat. “I really do appreciate--”

“Enough talk. Make me proud.” Dorian winked at him, heading out onto the floor to watch.

Cullen took a deep breath and stepped out onto the stage. The music drowned out everything else as Cullen tried his best to remember the routine Dorian had taught him. It was true he’d never been good at dancing, but then again his livelihood had never depended on it before. He spotted Dorian and Bull in the audience and kept his eyes on them to ground himself as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt to the rhythm of the music, counting off the beats in his head. He tossed the shirt aside, thrusting his hips in a way that felt ridiculous but looked great when Dorian did it. He actually felt a little thrill of triumph when his pants came off all the way like they were supposed to.

“See? You were glorious,” said Dorian, approaching Cullen backstage after his dance. “I bet that’s more than you made at the cafe.”

“Definitely,” Cullen agreed.

“If you’re not too nervous, perhaps in an hour or two you’d like to go up again? With me this time.” Dorian grinned.

“Alright, why not? I think I can handle it.”

“Lovely. Why don't you go out there and find Bull, he wants to buy you a drink.”

Cullen stepped out onto the floor, skirting around the edge of the room to avoid the notice of the other patrons as he headed toward Bull at the bar.

“Cullen?”

Cullen’s stomach dropped at the familiar voice calling his name, the anxious shake he thought he’d gotten rid of immediately returning as the man walked over to him.

“Damn, it is you. What’s a good clean boy like you doin’ in a place like this?”

“Samson. What are you--”

“Holy shit, you work here!” said Samson, a predatory grin spreading across his face as he took in Cullen’s attire.

“Excuse me,” said Cullen quickly, ducking backstage again.

Dorian looked up from the cash he was in the middle of counting. “Is something the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Hm? No, nothing.” Cullen shook his head to clear it. “I just need a minute.”

“Are you still okay to go up again in a bit? You don't have to, if you don't want to.”

“No, I’m okay. Might as well get used to this, right?” Cullen straightened up, trying his best to collect himself. “Should I put on a different outfit?”

“I was thinking so. I can touch up your makeup as well.” Dorian held out another costume on a hanger. “Put this on.”

After a costume change and a bit of Dorian’s magic touch to tame Cullen’s hair, they went up on the stage together. This was another loose routine they had practiced, and Cullen distantly wondered why they hadn’t done this one first, as it was much less nerve-wracking with Dorian performing alongside him. Dorian did most of the fancy movements, sliding his hands over Cullen’s chest from behind and tugging his pants down slightly, teasing the audience. It was easy, until Cullen’s eyes fell on Samson watching him intently from a table near the bar. He faltered, forgetting the steps, but Dorian didn’t seem to notice, picking up the slack effortlessly.

“Are you okay?” asked Dorian once they left the stage. “What happened out there?”

Apparently he had noticed. “I’m sorry. I don't know what came over me.”

Dorian sighed. “It’s okay, you’re just nervous. Maybe you should go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Bull is probably ready to leave too. I’ll see the two of you later.” Dorian smiled.

“All right.” Cullen changed back into the casual clothes he’d arrived in, wiping most of the makeup off and going out to find Bull.

Despite his best efforts to avoid Samson, the older man cornered him as soon as he walked out from backstage. “Leaving already? It’s still early.”

“Leave me alone.”

“You shouldn’t piss me off, Cullen. Where would you get your lyrium then, pretty boy?”

Cullen sighed. “What do you want?”

“Who says I want anything? This is fucking hilarious, that’s all.” Samson laughed. “I might start coming here more often, maybe get me a private show.”

“Just leave me alone.”

A huge hand fell on Samson’s shoulder. “Hey, buddy,” said Bull from behind him. “He’s not interested. Leave him alone.”

Samson sneered. “This ain’t none of your business.”

Cullen shook his head. “It’s okay, Bull. I know him.”

“Who cares? If you’re not interested, you’re not interested, whether you know him or not. And if you tell him to leave you alone, he should damn well leave you the fuck alone.” Bull crossed his arms, glaring down at Samson. “Get going.”

“Whatever,” said Samson. “See you around, Rutherford.” He grabbed his coat off the back of his chair and left.

“You okay, big guy?” asked Bull. “How do you know a guy like that? He looks shady as fuck, I figured you for a squeaky clean type.”

“Yeah, I’m all right,” said Cullen, ignoring the second question. “I’m going home, are you staying?”

“Nah, I’ll go with you. Streets aren’t safe at this hour.”

“What about Dorian?”

“He’ll take a cab, don't worry about him. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are short, sorry. But I would rather post short chapters than add unnecessary stuff to make them longer. Thanks for reading and comments and advice/constructive criticism are always welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long elusive chapter 5. I've felt so guilty for abandoning this fic and some sweet comments from people helped spur me to continue it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for discussion of addiction and brief mention of Cullen’s time on the police force.

Cullen thought he had gotten away, but as it turned out, the Iron Bull was as perceptive as he was brawny. The moment they stepped into the apartment, he pushed Cullen into the chair opposite the couch, crossing his arms and looming over him. “All right, what was that about?”

Cullen fixed his eyes on his own hands in his lap, unable to meet Bull’s gaze. “I, uh, what do you mean?”

“That guy at the club. Real creep, I had no trouble kicking him out, but you’ve been acting weird this whole time. Not like you’re shaken, like you’re hiding something.” 

“I, uh, I’m not.” Yes he was. “Really.” That wouldn’t fool anyone.

Bull looked down at Cullen with an expression that made him feel for all the world like a child who’d been caught breaking the rules. “I’m not wondering whether or not you’re hiding something, I already know you’re hiding something. What I’m wondering is, when this conversation is over, and you go into your room and lock the door, what will you reach for hidden stash of?” 

Cullen felt the blood drain from his face and drop like a weight into the pit of his stomach. For a long moment he was speechless, until he managed to find words. “How long have you known?”

Bull uncrossed his arms, sitting on the couch across from cullen. “Known? About two seconds. Suspected? Since you moved in. The jumpiness, the ups and downs, the way you lock yourself in your room for hours at a time...you’re a bad liar, Cullen.” His tone was gentle, surprisingly so, though it did nothing to calm the feeling in Cullen’s gut.

Cullen shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “Should I pack my things?”

“Nah,” said Bull. “I won’t tell Dorian, it doesn’t bother me like it does him. I’m not about to throw you out on the street, that’d only make it worse. But I am worried about you.”

“I lied to you. That doesn’t upset you?”

“Everyone lies. Doesn’t make you a bad person, and like I said, you’re not even good at it.” Bull looked Cullen up and down, studying him, no doubt looking for signs of anything else he might be hiding. “So what is it? I think you owe me that much.”

Cullen sighed. “Lyrium.”

“Let me guess,” said Bull. “You got hurt while you were on the force, doctor prescribed you lyrium, and it got out of hand. And that guy from the club...an old friend of yours? From your police days?”

“Yeah. That’s the gist of it.” Nothing got past Bull, it seemed. “Samson left the force before I did. He got caught doing things he shouldn’t have, I’ll leave it at that. But, uh, before all that...we were friends.” Cullen took a deep, shaky breath. “He knew I was taking lyrium, he offered to get me more.”

“And he’s been selling it to you since then, huh?”

“Yeah. So, uh, there it is. The whole story.”

Bull nodded, silent for a long moment.

“So, um...what now?” Afraid to hear the answer as he may be, it needed to be asked.

“Well, now you know that I know. And I can keep an eye on you, in case something happens. Dorian is...well, as long as you can still make the rent, I won’t tell him if you’re not ready for him to know. To be honest I’d rather have you here and safe than kick you out and not know what happened to you.” Bull’s tone was measuredly casual, meant to put Cullen at ease.

“...Thank you.” The dread in Cullen’s stomach turned to shame. “I’m sorry about this.” There was more he wanted to say, but there was no point in excuses.

Bull stood, taking a step toward Cullen. “For the record, we’re not done talking about this. You’re hurting yourself and you need help. But for now you look like you need to go to sleep. We file this away for later, and I won’t tell Dorian until you’re ready. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Bull’s heavy hand fell on Cullen’s shoulder, giving a reassuring pat. “Go brush your teeth and go to bed.”

Cullen nodded, making his way to the bathroom to ready himself for bed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He was out of lyrium, and he swore he could hear the box of empty vials in his closet. Sometime in the early morning, as he lay awake, he heard Dorian come home, with another stranger by the sound of it. Two sets of footsteps and hushed whispers made their way to Dorian’s room, accompanied by muffled laughter. Cullen closed his eyes, pulling the covers over his ears, hoping he could fall asleep.

Morning sent Dorian’s guest hurriedly out the door while Cullen contemplated the food in the fridge despite his minimal appetite. Performing with his shirt off for a living had him feeling somewhat self-conscious about how thin he’d become. 

Dorian shut the door with a sigh and a yawn, stretching like a cat. “Well. Back to bed for me.” He winked at Cullen, grabbing a bottle of wine from the cupboard before returning to his room. 

Cullen poured himself a cup of cold coffee left over from the day before and sipped it idly in front of the TV as he pulled out his phone. He’d already written half of a text to Samson before he remembered yesterday’s discussion with Bull, the sinking feeling in his gut returning with it. The encounter with Samson at the club last night followed it, with the thought that he’d have to pay for his lyrium with Samson knowing exactly where he got the money. His stomach turned; good thing he’d forgone having breakfast.   
He finished the text and sent it off.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm still trying to get back into writing so comments and advice are appreciated!


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